Project "Kill your darling"
mise en scène:


PRESENTATION about/on that a WORK is never really done (finished) so long as it is contemplated.

(This was a virtual presentation via teams with the installation visible to the viewers)

I felt uneasy with this painting and I never had the feeling that it was done. The work/ PAINTING sits there for 2-3 months and is contemplated (reflected on)
and this reflection documented, and then through the presentation itself FINALLY contemplated/ reflected on.

I make a new work – an/ the extension of it.

3 steps to the reflection:

Performative (performance)
Writing (text) / book
Final installation

I would like to add that this is something between a ritual thing and a methodology.

The book serves as a guide for the final reflection

The final reflection (presentation): I read out the text from the book, perform and introduce the ritual, and ends with blowing out the candle, closing the book.


to see more images of this project scroll down. Included are the additional´notes´i read out during my presentation.


Research diary:

The research diary helped me better understand what I was researching in my paintings (overall), but also in creating my “The final contemplation” project.

I prefer to keep my research diary private, and because of this I transcribe only some things that I find currently relevant for the purpose of this presentation.

I wrote thoughts that were unfiltered, sometimes more or less coherent; but concluded that “overall the underlying tone was A FEELING OF DISCOMFORT.”

“A kind of MELANCHOLY, I was attracted to this discomfort. Recognising it in artworks resonated with me, because it acknowledges my state of being (discomfort) – and thus makes it into something important and/ beautiful.”

“I became hyper aware of things/scenarios that are discomfort , but also ´vices´ that distract from it. (assuming that the default ´feeling´ in life is discomfort) (vices being: intoxicants like drugs, alcohol, lying in bed, ???...)”

“The works not only in subject deal with discomfort, but also on a whole (body of work) to the discomforting way we consume art.”


Furthermore, I developed an interest in 2 general archetypes which I applied to ´the artist´, I try to define their characteristics :

The 2 archetypes are based on the Greek gods Apollo and Dionysus


And ( which one am I?)

Apollean – appeal to logic, RATIONAL

Dionysian – belief in the irrational, Mystic , ROMANTIC

Through discussions with other artists I realise the line that divides the apollean and dionysian artist most of the time is very thin, and it is better to perhaps imagine it as a scale ranging from apollean to dionysian.

The Apollean and Dionysian seem to be concepts presented in dichotomy, but in this circumstance, they are somehow interconnected.

The 2 archetypes not only deal with the artist himself , but in addition also the work that speaks for itself. My big question is where would I put myself, but in order to reach this answer I think the good way of further research would be to apply my archetype scale on well-known artists from art history, and also clearly outline the parameters that define the archetypes.

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